Sunday, February 20, 2011
The View at the Edge
If you have ever been at the literal edge of anywhere, you know the feeling of fear and exhilaration that come with standing there thinking about what would happen if you took one more step closer. Whether you are at the edge of the Grand Canyon, the Meteor Crater in Arizona (photo above, 2009), an upper story of a multi-layer shopping mall or leaning over the railing on a little arching bridge, the view can be beautiful and terrifying all at once.
I mentioned our additional house guests in yesterday's post. This group of family members have been standing on the edge of a figurative cliff for some time. But they've been stuck. They recently decided to take a step closer to the edge to see what would happen and they did that by moving from another state here to New Mexico. They didn't plummet to their deaths by taking that step, but now, they are even closer to the edge and the view before them seems even deeper and more frightening.
However, as the Lord has worked in me over the past year to really try harder to focus on each moment of joy as a gift (and continues to work in me on that), I refuse to allow these loved ones to give into their fear and back away from whatever is coming next.
I don't know if I'm cruel or just eternally hopeful, but from where I'm standing (which currently is quite close to them on this edge of cliff), I find that the view isn't all that frightening. It's gorgeous and exciting.
In my life, I've made numerous moves from one place to another and some of them have been made only by the grace of God. My husband and I moved from our home state of California to New England with no jobs, knowing only one person (barely) and about $60 in our pocket -- made from selling most of our stuff in a last-minute yard sale. We had no clue what we were doing and yet God provided and amazed and astonished us during the journey and once we arrived.
We have dealt with life struggles that many others can relate to -- financially, relationally, spiritually and in our desire to have a family prior to fostering and later adopting. I've experienced love and loss, success and failure. Marriage takes a lot of work and sometimes, it comes easy. Raising a family takes torturous amounts of work and then, even more (but it's worth it!).
Because of our experiences, we have seen that in the most desperate of times, God does His best work. It seems that when I think I have everything figured out, I feel furthest from Christ. That's when I fall. But when everything is treacherous and one step closer to the edge could mean sudden death, that's when I am closest to the Lord and I am in the best place for Him to hold up His hand to give me safe passage across the precipice. What's more, I'm in a better frame of mind to recognize where that help is coming from.
So I am excited to be here with a front row seat to watch our extended family members as they take their next steps. I pray for them constantly and try to encourage them as best I can. They are not alone here for a reason. Their situation is unbearably desperate when I reflect on everything they have experienced and yet, I have tremendous hope for their future.
The show is about to begin. God is about to do mighty things in light of their boldness in stepping closer to the edge in faith. They have little left to give and so God has them right where He wants them. They are empty and ready for refill. They feel completely desperate and there is only One capable of saving them now.
I can hardly wait to see His magnificence as He reaches out His hand so they might depart from this edge and receive safe passage to the next part of the path on their journey.