Thank You, Blogger, For Not Deleting My Account

One of my favorite captures from the other evening when I went treasure hunting in the desert with J.

 
I know I'm more of a stranger here these days.  Maybe you've read the past posts and know what a challenge this year has been for our family.  It continues to be a daily challenge that I face one hour or one minute at a time.  However it comes at me.  Through enduring these challenges, I know there is deep, blessed joy.

Some days are better than others.  Sometimes it's hard to see the good through the difficult.  This week, has been particularly challenging, but I feel myself emerging on the other side.  My hope is that this week was just another wake up call to get my head back on straight and to reprioritize God as the leader of my life and not just an afterthought.  A sidekick.

It's been months since I've felt inspired to write and while I'm coming off a bad migraine and a lot of other "stuff" going on, I desperately wanted to get to the computer and just spend a couple minutes re-establishing myself here.

Hello.  This is my blog.  From time to time, my husband shares guest posts here.  But mainly, this is my space to practice one of the top ten things I love doing (that list is ever evolving): writing.

Here is where I share my life and tell you my story.  Here is where I attempt to use what God has put in my life as a testimony for others.  Here is where I talk about homeschooling, adoption issues, foster care, special needs topics, parenting, marriage, faith and an assortment of random.  Here is where I hope you can see my heart and know me better as a real person -- not just some other blogger filling the web with meaningless blather.

Maybe the stuff I write about is fairly meaningless to you.  But for me, it's important stuff.  A documentation of my days and life during this season.  When I don't write, I don't find myself reflecting on things as often.  I stop growing.  I stuff problems and feelings down and keep it in and eventually, I crumble and lose my way.

Blogging here -- writing in general -- is one method for me to stay on track, to stay more mentally healthy and overall, to be me.  Without this, I start forgetting who I am and who God made me to be.  Seems silly to say that out loud, but I mean it for realsies.

So I hope, if you are one of my devoted readers still clinging to the hope that someday I might return to this corner of the world, you have not lost patience and will continue this journey with me as I try to reconnect and start blogging again -- not out of obligation, but because it's who I am and what I want to do.  Thank you so much for waiting patiently on me.

For new readers, there are thousands of sound, helpful blogs out there.  This one may not be for you and I understand that.  But if you stick around, maybe I'll surprise you and hopefully, you'll see the intricate ways God not only knit me together in the beginning (Psalm 139), but how he continues transforming my life into the finished product he intends me to be.  Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself in the process.

And if no one out there is reading this blog, it's okay.  I write for God and myself and maybe so our kids will have a sense of who I was even while I am just their mother (if they read this at some point).  I'm more than that, but no matter how many times I say it, I don't think they really see it.

I'm their mama and that's okay.  Great, in fact.  But God made me more than that, too, and I'm grateful that He defines me more than our kids do. Ha!  Motherhood is often an exhausting process that, while rewarding, can just drain the life out of us sometimes.  Then in the blink of an eye, one single smile or hug or good deed from one of our little ones, fills us back up to the brim.

I love our family and I love the lessons that I've learned because of the people around me.  But those around me cannot be the limit of my definition.  God has a greater purpose for my life.  I pray He continues to use me to reach others in this world in His Name, even through the day-to-day hardships of this world.

God bless.

P.S. I'm still out there on Instagram, too!  Find me by clicking on the square camera icon on the right or the scrolling pictures further down on the right.