Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Procrastinating and Pondering

Is it sad that I have nothing to post?  I've even gone through some of my old posts from my private blog because I wanted to share something today.  But, I couldn't choose one.  I'm feeling uncreative and melancholy.  Out of sorts.

Maybe tomorrow.... I hope your day is better than this one is for me.  I mean, I know I'm blessed in the grand scheme and God is in control and all that.  No worries, really ... just looking forward to a better night's sleep and a surge of energy and desire to do what I love: to write.

Until then, sleep well.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention a couple things I'm thankful for today.  My good friend who has only known me for several months, but whom I feel I've known for years.  She allowed me into her house this morning when I showed up unannounced for the first time ever.  She was still in her PJs and so were her kids.  But she let me in and hugged me when I burst into a sad collection of tears because I was so tired and hadn't gotten sleep the night before.  My heart was heavy when I entered, but I left there feeling lighter ... less burdened.

I'm thankful for friends like her.  I have less than a handful, but they are so precious and good.

I should also mention that though my teen daughter is still struggling in life and in faith, she is singing tonight at youth group.  She is not a singer and she definitely hates being on stage.  But she is going out of her comfort zone to do this.  I'm proud of her.  I'm going to sneak into youth group to watch because if she knows I'm coming, I fear she'll back out of it.  But I can't let this go by and not come to see her!

And finally, our other daughter is on day five of her upswing-side of her mood (for lack of a better word).  She has been bouncing off the walls fairly consistently, night and day, sneaking and hoarding candy (typical of her during these manic phases she goes through) and just driving everyone crrrrrazy.  Wearing me down.  I saw glimpses of her crashing down two nights ago, but it was short-lived and she recharged quickly.  I imagine she'll slow down eventually -- like always.  That's never better, but at least it's a small break.

Down for her is weepy, insatiable and clingy.  But usually after a couple weeks of down-time, she levels off to some normal.  Well, normal for her.  Ha.  I think this is the longest she's remained hyperactive.  Is it getting worse as she gets older?  I don't know.  Time will tell.

But this is where I'm thankful.  Even with all her extreme mood swings ... her bipolar tendencies are probably the easiest challenge we deal with among our five kids.  And though, her mood swings aren't always predictable, there is somewhat of a regular and recognizable ebb and flow, so at least there are no major surprises there.  I'm not easily surprised and I prefer it that way.

Thank the Lord, for this day and my ability to still find some good in it.

Lookey there, I made a post after all!

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