Why do I cringe every time our teenage daughter starts talking about living on her own or being married or driving or decorating her place some day or becoming a mother herself? I mean, she's a teenager. She's naturally supposed to drive me crazy and make me want her to be on her own and out of our house, right?
The funny thing is that I don't feel ready to let her go yet. I like her. With all her ups and downs, she's still our child and I'm really not ready to have her grow up and move on.
I always cling to the fact that we didn't even meet her till she was 8 and so I feel like I missed a big chunk of her life. I feel like I'm forever trying to regain those missed years with her.
I'm not sure if this a good thing or if it's me being weak and not-appreciative of the time we have had with her. Or maybe I'm just a mom.
C is always telling the kids that it's my job as the "mama bird" to feed, nurture and train the baby chicks, while it's the "daddy bird's" job to prepare them to be booted from the nest. And I guess that's true in a lot of ways.
While I always keep their pending adultness in my foresight as I teach them things and share with them my own wisdom (for what it's worth), I do spend a lot of time snuggling with them, appreciating them for who they are right now (good and not-so) and wanting time to slow down just a little bit.
But I don't want to live in fear and worry about our oldest's nest departure either. It's going to be great. I am just not quite ready for her to leap yet. And all this talk makes it seem like she's heading out the door next week, not a couple years from now.
Keep breathing, Mama. There's still time.