I Don't Know

I think some of the most frustrating words in the English language make up the phrase, "I don't know."  It drives me crazy when kids say it to me as their reason behind certain behaviors or choices made.  It drives me even more crazy when professional, highly-educated people -- like doctors -- tell me that's all they have to say about why our daughter has been throwing up for most of the past ten days!  Come on.

Give me bad news.  Give me good news.  Give me something.  Don't tell me you don't know.  It's making me bonkers.  I know it's mostly about control.  Not knowing means I have to trust God more, instead of facts.  But I still keep reviewing the facts over and over again.  I can't help it.

I know something isn't right with J.  Nobody else here has any similar symptoms.  And they seem to come and go in her with an unwieldy unpredictability!  She vomited twelve times this morning starting at 4:00 a.m.  Seriously.  The last three or four could hardly be called vomit because the girl had nothing left in her belly.  And the last nine times were after dosing her with an anti-nausea pill.  A lot of good that did.

Even sick, my kids are photogenic.  Or maybe I'm just mean.  But I'm not one to stop taking pictures of our kids for this many days in a row ... so I get what I get!  And this is pretty much how J's looking these days.

So I got her in to see the doctor (the GNP on call, actually) first thing this morning.  She was sent for x-rays of her abdomen, which revealed nothing out of the ordinary.  We picked up a stool collection kit, which should be fun collecting from her while she isn't eating (or let's face it, even when she is).  They tested her urine and it looked ordinary except for the fact that there are some muscle proteins in it since she's not eating much and so the body starts making use of what it has in stock (she's only lost 4-1/2 lbs., surprisingly).

Then, they hooked her up to an IV to rehydrate her.  It took a couple tries because apparently dehydrated veins are harder to find.  Ironic, don't you think?  She needs the IV to rehydrate, but she needs fluid in order to more successfully get her IV in position.  Cruel.

Once she had the IV in, they gave her saline solution and injected her with two doses of anti-nausea medication (stronger than the pills we have).  It really knocked her out.  She fell asleep there on the doctor's exam table and when we had to walk her out, she was just all over the place.  She tried to open the door of a vehicle that wasn't ours.  Just really loopy.

We're home now and she's resting (read that: nearly comatose from the medication).  C came home early from work to be a support (and brought our future marine biologist a stuffed shark! awww) and before he could get there, our dear friends who live close to the doctor's office came over the help me manage my nieces and other kids so I could focus on being there for J.  I don't know what we'd do without all the support of friends and family -- all the prayers!  I know so many are praying for J and for our family.  I couldn't wait for answers greater than "I don't know," without all of them and all of you.

Thanks for going through this with us.

I don't know what the future holds, but I am thankful we'll not have to face it alone.