Today, my therapist and I discussed setting some goals for me. Okay, first, I feel so stylish saying, "my therapist." Secondly, who knew a person needed goals for their mental health as well as for the rest of their lives?! I didn't.
But I'm sharing these goals here with my readers so that if I ever touch on my progress (or -- oh no! -- my regression) in these areas while blogging, you know from where this all stems. It won't seem so out of the blue later on.
Here are the goals as they were set forth (and signed! yikes) this afternoon...
1) Less Yelling.
Unfortunately, my go-to response when feeling frustrated in any situation is to start raising my voice. When dealing with our kids, this means they feel the need to get louder than me and I, in turn, feel the need to get even louder so I can feel like they are listening.
Truth is, they probably aren't listening more when I yell. They listen less. So, in order to maintain a somewhat calmer household and to improve the chances our kids will start listening to me, I need to tame my vocal chords (I'm sure they'll thank me for it later, when they're not so strained all the time).
2) Get Organized.
Forever a list maker by nature, for lack of time (or organization) in recent years, I've resorted to keeping lists in my head. What does get written down on tiny scraps of paper, gets stuck on my messy desk and forgotten. So then, again, I'm relying on my brain to remember everything. There's too much to remember for myself alone -- but when I'm also helping to keep the whole family organized with all their events, meetings, appointments and social gatherings, it's too much. I get overwhelmed and then when I get to a grocery store or something, I freeze up because I can't even remember why I went to the store.
My hope is that by getting better organized -- on paper -- I can stop overworking that part of my brain and delegate more of my brain to positive and enjoyable things. In the meantime, it's little better than a haphazardly kept file cabinet with the handles falling off the drawer fronts.
If my brain works better, I'll be better able to cope with and solve problems, too (which could lead to less yelling, who knows?).
3) Me Time.
I know it's every mama's dream to have a little more me time. But I heard a rumor that some moms actually get that when they make it a priority. So I guess this is something we're going to try to work in to my full schedule. This is time for me, not more time for me with the kids. It feels a bit selfish to even bring this subject up. I love our kids, but when that's my primary social group 24/7, it's enough to make a person crazy.
Hence, my need for therapy.
So the idea is that my therapist will help me make some actual plans for accomplishing these goals. This list seems kind of cohesive when I think about it. They all rely on each other.
We'll see. I've always been a bit skeptical about seeing a therapist -- though ironically, I studied psychology in college for a while, hoping to become one myself. Go figure. I can't explain my thinking.
Maybe go talk to my therapist.