Tuesday, February 5, 2013

New Goals

Some of you may remember when I wrote about my experiences seeing a therapist for the first time (and I'm still seeing her after a bunch of times).  I blogged about the goals my therapist helped me set up for myself in the beginning.

Since then, many of those goals have been achieved reasonably well, so I'll give you the update here and then tell you about my new goals -- Spring goals, as she refers to them.

Old Goal 1:  Less Yelling.

There is no really good way to quantify the achievements of this goal except to tell you that A) I'm not tired of hearing my own voice any more and B) other than sickness, my voice is not as raspy at the close of each day.  I feel less stressed so I believe I'm yelling less.  I haven't heard one of our children say to me, "Mama, please stop yelling because it's making me crazy," or any variation on that one, in a long while.

Old Goal 2:  Get Organized.

I didn't know it at the time, but when I set this goal, I really meant in a more general sense.  Stop being late to everything, having forgotten whatever I was supposed to bring.  Don't forget to pick kids up when I'm supposed to.  Remember to eat.  Feel less overwhelmed by everything.

I will admit that a huge reason I feel like this goal has been met is due to my gift of an iPhone.  I know there is a lot of technology in the world that complicates things.  And for some, this list may include smart phones.

For me, it's been a life saver.  I am usually not as late any more and I remember to bring everything I need because I have reminders and listing capabilities on my phone.  I don't double-book myself because I bring my calendar with me.  I have a catalog of gift ideas for various birthdays and such because my phone camera makes it easier to remember stuff that way.  I don't forget why I went to the store and if suddenly I remember I was supposed to call the library or a certain doctor, I've got all my contacts in hand, wherever I am.  It's been excellent at getting (and keeping) me on track.

Quick side bar:  My phone saved me the other day when I needed to buy four thumb drives for the kids' web design class they are taking.  I'd noticed that Office Depot had the 8GB drives for $4.99.  So I drove across town to the closest Office Depot.  The in-store prices didn't go below $12 and that was for 2GB.  I promptly used my phone's web browser to look up the prices I'd seen online and showed that to the store clerk.  Thankfully, they had those exact drives in stock for about $13 and they gave me the $4.99 price.  Amazing.  Never could have done that with my old phone.  Thank you, Jesus, for allowing their invention.

Old Goal 3:  Me Time.

This has been the most difficult goal for me because I really struggle with that fine line between taking care of myself and thinking too much about myself.  Selfishness.  I don't want to cross the line into selfishness.  But in the meantime, if I don't take care of myself, it's harder to be selfless and it turns into selfishness because I have nothing of myself to give.  Taking care of oneself is even Biblical -- and I need to constantly remind myself of that.  Even Jesus took time away from the crowds.

However, I've tried to do a better job of resting when I'm tired or unwell (even when that means more TV for the kids that day).  Cutting myself slack when I just don't have it in me to create a whole lesson for the day.  Telling C when I've had it and need a break, so that he can take the kids and go somewhere.  Enjoying certain regular appointments because they are personally bettering me -- my trips to the chiropractor are great because I get along with the receptionists well and it's always fun to stop and chat for a few minutes before I dash out.  Holy Yoga is all about God and glorifying him by honoring my body and improving this "temple" He's given to me here on earth.  I've made a regular practice of taking time to breathe between all the moments in each day, too.

So my new goals stem a little from my old goals (2 and 3), but get more specific...

New Goal 1:  Complete Graduation-related Tasks.

There are a whole host of things I need/want to complete by S's graduation.  Some of them are administrative, others are just fun stuff I want to do to make the experience of graduating better for her.  More meaningful.

The process keeps ending up on the back-burner though, so I start fearing that I will never get it done.  Instead, I'm making it a goal (and my therapist is giving me step-by-step deadlines to help) and I'm empowering myself to get it done for the larger purpose of accomplishing something.  I'm a great project starter, but I'm only 50/50 at finishing things.  Having this as a personal goal makes it somehow more important and urgent.

New Goal 2:  Clean and Organize Our Bedroom.

I've spent a lot of time recently pulling closets together, organizing our pantry and helping the kids get the loft sorted after Christmas.  When people are coming over to visit, I put in a lot of effort pulling our main floor together so it's not as embarrassing.

Somehow in the midst of all these projects, though, our room has started to look like the family's junk room.  Guests don't go in there, so it's fine... just stick stuff in there and close the door, we'll deal with it later.

It's later.

There are hazards to walking to the bathroom at night everywhere.  Christmas wrapping mess is still all over the closet.  Believe it or not, bags from our California trips are still semi-packed at the foot of our bed!  Craziness.

So for my own mental health and to probably save our marriage (or at least some stubbed toes), I need to make this a goal so I can prioritize it higher on the list when managing my time and activities.  I started today by emptying a couple of the bags on the floor and putting them where they go in our closet  (I was in search of my camera battery charger -- which if you follow me on Instagram, you know that Z found it for me!). 

New Goal 3:  Visit SSW in Phoenix.

My dear friend has been with me through some of the most difficult things and now she is going through some tough times adjusting to her move and feeling really down about stuff.  She is literally a six-hour drive from here.  This is not impossible for me to tackle.  I drive five hours a day sometimes just to get our kids to and from one of the local beaches.

I miss her and this is something I feel is important to do.  So I'm setting this as a goal in hopes that I'll manage my time in a way that allows me to do this in the not too distant future.  These are Spring goals, remember?  So I have a couple months to take care of this.

Plus, I got spoiled traveling alone to California, so I think I might like doing that now and then.  Just continuing to work on my Me Time goal.

I'll keep you posted about how meeting these goals is going.

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